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First Date: How to Understand That It Is Not Your Person

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Published
06/22/2021

Love is blind. However, on the first date, while you still have a sober look, you may notice signals that will tell you: perhaps this choice is not the best one.

1.   Your Interlocutor Is Focused Only on Oneself

You agree to have a cup of coffee together, and the interlocutor enthusiastically talks about oneself for an hour. Perhaps you bombard her with questions hoping to find a bride online on brides4love as soon as possible. But if this is not the case, you are likely facing a person who is focused on oneself, their feelings, and interests. Your life and your concerns will always be secondary to them.

2.   You Feel Guilty Without Doing Anything Bad

You suggest going to a restaurant that specializes in sushi or steaks. She agrees but orders a dish that is not included in the list of specialties, and then she sounds off that it was awful. Obviously, your new acquaintance loves, for example, soups more than sushi. However, the inability to make advances and change their inner attitude indicates that in the future, any violation of their intentions will be a guarantee of constant dissatisfaction. And you will be the witness or the culprit. Are you able to maintain a joyful and positive attitude in these conditions?

3.   Extreme Finick to the Staff of the Café

You sit in the coffee shop, where she harasses the barista with exorbitant demands. As a result, she still remains dissatisfied — the foam is not beaten well enough, and the milk was served at the wrong temperature. Such over-demanding, as a rule, applies to the closest people. If in a restaurant a person expects that they are obliged to bring a steak with a roasting temperature accurate to one degree, then to a partner, she will have no less high expectations.

4.   She Is Talking Too Much About the Previous Relationship

You feel that she is close to you, and you understand her well. She does not take her eyes off you, laughs when you joke; communication with her is easy and warm. And then she suddenly admits that she recently broke up with her boyfriend and that what happened is still painful. It may well be that your new acquaintance is trying to heal wounds at the expense of your attention. She is not yet ready to move on internally and often does not realize this. Of course, this relationship can be given a chance and at least a second date, but try not to get involved in the therapy process. She must go through her experience and process it herself, and only in this case can you find a deep and happy relationship.

5.   You Feel a Nonconcurrence of Views and Interests

She shares her views on politics, religion, human nature, and relationships. You feel there is a fundamental difference in your views. However, you really like her. The mismatch of opinions on some issues should not at all become a barrier in a relationship. But if it comes to ideas that are crucial to you, then there is a great danger that over time, the partners will have a great desire to deliver each other up to their faith. As a rule, such disputes end only with growing irritation and a sense of alienation.

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